Have you ever settled down in front of the television or computer, hoping to enjoy a comforting marathon of an old comedy, only to have it cut short by an inappropriate joke? When it comes to all the offensive things said on Friends, this happens a lot. Nobody claims that the popular ’90s comedy was flawless. Because the show was not quite politically correct throughout its decade-long run from 1994 to 2004, observant fans had many doubts regarding various story issues.
In May 2021, when the show’s reunion special aired, there was more talk about the show’s flaws, especially its lack of diversity in casting. According to co-creator Kevin Bright, the choice to have an exclusively white ensemble “was not the intention,” but rather to select folks who had wonderful on-screen chemistry with one another. “Now, there are different priorities, and so much has changed,” he explained. “It’s critical that today’s programs represent the true nature of society.”
“The cast is the cast,” Ben Winston, the reunion’s special director, told The New York Times. “It was created in 1994,” she said. “I believe it’s amazing how well it stands the test of time.” But is this true? On the comedy show, you’re witnessing a lighthearted dispute between best friends or brothers when you’re suddenly slapped with a body-shaming remark or some obvious homophobia. It doesn’t end there; the program also dabbled in misogyny and classism in some horrible ways.
While it’s not difficult to watch and appreciate the program from a modern perspective, you should expect to grimace at least a few times every season when you watch some of the show’s most controversial episodes.
Here are some of the most heinous comments made on “Friends.”
1.“Some girl ate Monica!”
“Fat Monica’s” first appearance comes in Season 2 with “The One With the Prom Video.” This is the first thing Joey says after watching a video of Monica when she was younger, and it sets the tone for the rest of the series’ body-shaming gags about her shape. And believe us, there are many of them.
2.“Ridiculously Dull Bobby”
Monica’s lover, “Fun Bobby,” seeks therapy for his alcoholism in Season 2. As he stops drinking, his buddies believe he’s no longer “fun,” and Chandler renames him “Ridiculously Boring Bobby.” The notion that someone requires alcohol to have a good time maintains a damaging stereotype and is profoundly insensitive to the difficulties that many alcoholics face on their path to sobriety.
3.“What are you talking about, one woman?! That’s like saying there is only one flavor of ice cream for you. … Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!”
Joey’s first-episode comment that “women are like ice cream” foreshadows a problem with how he treats women that keeps coming up throughout the series. He openly and frequently objectifies women as commodities rather than human beings. And, while his statements may have gotten some chuckles when the show first aired, they aren’t cute in today’s culture and weren’t truly true back then either.
4.“What’s my boy doing with a Barbie?”
In Season 3’s “The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel,” Ross can’t get over the possibility that his kid might choose to play with a Barbie doll rather than action figures. His desperate attempt to urge his kid to stop playing with a “female” toy not only perpetuates detrimental gender stereotypes but also shows his own preconceptions. Ross, let the youngsters play with any toys they like!
5.“How goes the dancing? Gay yet?”
In the Season 4 episode “The One With the Ballroom Dancing,” Monica instantly hits Joey by making a shocking joke that is extremely homophobic on numerous levels. It indicates not only that learning to dance with someone of the same gender might transform one’s s*xual orientation but also that dancing is not a “masculine” activity. Monica, that’s not cool.
6.“Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand.”
In Season 6, Joey says this to his gorgeous roommate Janine to explain why he doesn’t think the two of them should flirt. He compares a lady to food (again) and ignores her when she says she isn’t attracted to him. Instead, he refuses to accept that she just isn’t interested in him, which is a very bad perspective for a man to have.
7.“Don’t you have a little too much penis to wear a dress like that?”
Even though Chandler’s father is a drag performer who likes to show up as a woman, the word “transgender” is never used to describe him in the show. This is because the word wasn’t used much at the time. The other characters frequently refer to her by her preferred name, Helena Handbasket, despite their clear disregard for her gender preferences. In the Season 7 episode “The One With Chandler and Monica’s Wedding,” Chandler’s mother, Nora, says this to Helena at Chandler’s wedding.
8.“So you’re just, like, a guy who’s a nanny?”
In the Season 9 episode “The One With the Male Nanny,” Ross can’t wrap his brain around the fact that a man may work as a childcare provider. As if his notions about what constituted women’s labor vs. men’s work weren’t already s*xist, he asks the babysitter, played by Freddie Prinze Jr., whether he’s homos*xual.
9.“Welcome to our country!”
In the opening episode of Season 2, Rachel rushes to see Ross at the airport and learns that he has come home from China with his girlfriend Julie. As she hands Julie the flowers she picked up for Ross, she welcomes her to the nation by speaking slowly and exaggeratedly so Julie can understand. Julie responds in a languid tone, “Thank you; I’m from New York.” Making a racist joke about one of the few black characters on a program that is frequently chastised for its lack of diversity is a poor choice.
10.“Wow, you look just like your son, Mrs. Tribbiani.”
In the season 5 episode “The One With Joey’s Bag,” Joey is delighted about a unisex bag he acquired for an audition; he loves all the compartments and how it looks, but the other characters on the program make a point of labeling him a lady for carrying the leather satchel. It’s a beautiful purse! What does it matter what gender you are if you like it?
11.“Hey check me out, I’m a slut!”
“The One That Might Have Been (Parts 1 and 2),” probably the most cringe-worthy back-to-back episodes, examines an alternate reality in which Monica did not lose weight. The majority of the offensive jokes revolve around her insatiable appetite. In it, she loses her virginity to Chandler and appears to be overjoyed that he is s*xually interested in her, with the insinuation that guys don’t generally find her attractive since she is plus-sized. She speaks this sentence after having her first intercourse. Not only is the term “slut” offensive, but it also appears to be disparaging non-slim women who like s*x for the sake of s*x in this context.
12.“Oh my god, where are all the men!?”
In Season 6’s “The One with Ross’s Teeth,” Chandler is the most obvious example of toxic masculinity. When he finds Joey and Janine making potholders for their apartment, he calls Joey “Josephine” and then goes to hang out with Ross. Chandler yells the unfunny phrase when he sees Ross at home with a cosmetics compact. Chandler’s implication that guys can’t knit or wear cosmetics (and that if they can, they’re somehow less than men) is the type of s*xist speech that should never have been permitted on the show.
13.“Dumb, old perfect-for-the-job Hilda.”
In Season 7, Rachel must choose between employing an elderly woman with years of expertise and a gorgeous boy named Tag as an assistant. All of her friends advise her to hire the more competent employee, to which she responds in this ageist manner. She also employs Tag, objects to him at the office, and has an affair with him. Rachel is an excellent business role model.
14.“The rumor was that you had both male and female reproductive parts.”
Rachel finds out in the Season 8 episode “The One With The Rumor” that Will and Ross founded the “I Hate Rachel Green” club in high school and fabricated a rumor that she was intersex and “still had the hint of a penis.” Rachel is shocked to learn of the rumor and begins to reflect on how the remark wrecked her high school connections. To make matters worse, Chandler refers to her as the “hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island,” and Monica reveals that she was aware of the story but was concerned Rachel would “cry and show it” to her.
15.“Nevermind, my girlfriend’s a lesbian.”
During the course of “Friends,” Ross has a poor track record of making homophobic remarks. He expresses concern to Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler in the season 4 episode “The One With Rachel’s New Dress” that Emily would become a l*sbian after spending time at the gym with Susan. As his buddies correct him for expecting Emily would alter her s*xual orientation after hanging out with a new acquaintance, Ross avoids the discussion by labeling Emily a l*sbian nonetheless.
16.“If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?”
Chandler and Joey are introduced to nursing in Season 2, Episode 2, “The One With The Breast Milk,” owing to Carol feeding Ben in front of them. Joey asks, “If he [Ben] breathes into one, does the other become bigger?” after being encouraged by Ross to ask Carol questions regarding nursing. Obviously, this is an inappropriate question, but it also s*xualizes a perfectly normal and harmless movement. Chandler and Joey had most likely never seen anyone nursing in public. Do better, gentlemen.
17.“I haven’t had s*x in a very long time.”
Remember the day Ross attempted to kiss his cousin? It did, in fact, occur. Cassie, Ross’s cousin, pays a surprise visit in Season 7, Episode 19. Cassie is clearly lovely, and Ross is attracted to her for some inexplicable reason. Ross begins to lean into Cassie for a kiss while watching a movie. Cassie is upset, and she quickly pulls away from her cousin before he commits incest. When questioned about why he would even contemplate kissing his cousin, Ross responds, “I haven’t had s*x in a very long time,” hinting that if he didn’t have s*x for a while, he’d resort to hitting on his own family members rather than staying abstinent.
You may have missed these offensive Friends jokes the first time around, but you will be able to see them on your second viewing.