The pair discussed their marriage in Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue’s book, “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share Their Secrets.” Thomas confessed in her biography that, as a young girl, she despised the institution of marriage.
The reason for this was that she didn’t regard marriage as having enough room for her. She was so opposed to it that she always had a witty remark when the subject came up.
Thomas used to comment that marriage was like living with your jailer and trying to satisfy them. Her other reaction to the institution was similarly scathing, with her stating,
“Marriage is like a vacuum cleaner: you stick it to your ear, and it sucks out all your energy and ambition.”
According to their book, Donahue and Thomas had previously met twice, the second time in 1977 in Chicago. The television show host was unmarried and raising four sons on his own at the time of the meeting.
His daughter, his sixth child, resided with his ex-wife. When he met Thomas, the host of “The Phil Donahue Show” was becoming accustomed to attending social occasions with a lady who was not his wife.
He and Thomas went out for dinner the next night and dated for three years before marrying in 1980! The couple’s wedding was a quiet affair with their family, with only 35 people in attendance.
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When Thomas married, her relatives couldn’t believe it. Gloria, who was pleased for her when she returned from her honeymoon, was one person with whom she had an unwritten agreement.
Gloria and someone else hosted a bridal shower for Donahue’s wife. They also prepared little posters with all of Marlo’s bad comments on marriage, which were delightfully put up around the room!
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Thomas was surprised to see the messages put together and thought it was “no surprise” she didn’t want to marry! Her mother, on the other hand, was the one who was most astonished by her marriage and kept questioning Donahue at the wedding.
“How did you get her to do this?”
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Thomas’s father, on the other hand, was just glad she’d met a fine man and was settling down. When Donahue and Thomas got up to use the restroom on their trip to Greece, a woman seated across from them saw the bride’s ring.
The lady asked whether Thomas was who she said she was and if the actress had married. The actress blushed and acknowledged that her wedding day was the previous day, and the stranger inquired:
“Why? I am so disappointed. “Why would you get married?”
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The question surprised Thomas, who questioned whether she’d made a mistake because women like the one on the plane looked to her for freedom. The actress was concerned that she would disappoint the women.
She overcame her concerns when her husband returned to his seat. In their book, Thomas admitted that their decade-long marriage had had its ups and downs.
However, addressing each problem jointly helped the pair discover mutual solutions, deepen their relationship, and come closer together. Donahue was in Chicago recording his program when they married, and his wife was an actress.
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One of Thomas’ aunts informed her that she and Donahue weren’t married since they didn’t live in the same city all the time. However, the actress discovered that each person understood marriage differently.
During an AARP interview in 2012, Thomas was questioned about the skills she acquired from her mother and how she used them when parenting her stepchildren. The actress explained that she chose not to be a typical “mother” figure to her husband’s children because they already had one.
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Instead, she opted to be their friend because Thomas’s mother had played the same role for her and her brothers while they were growing up. The actress stated that she was always happy to have someone to laugh with, chat with, and quarrel with.
So she applied the same strategy to her husband’s children and became friends with them. The actress said that the relationships she formed with the family years ago are still strong today.
On her YouTube channel in 2012, the celebrity admitted that no one ever wanted to be a stepmother because they were always portrayed negatively in children’s books. The actor admitted that she was hesitant to take on the part.
When his [Phil Donahue’s] wife [Marlo Thomas] reflected on her life, she admitted that she would have married no one other than the television star.
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Instead, she opted to be a positive example by spending time getting to know her stepsons. In their book, Donahue wrote about how his wife talked to the boys and got to know them as people instead of as a group.
Donahue and his wife will be celebrating 40 years of marriage in 2020! Donahue stated in an interview with Closer Weekly that long-term partnerships did not receive the attention they deserved since people were focused on divorced couples.
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He and his wife learned that trust “strengthened” long-lasting marriages. Thomas emphasized that it wasn’t simply about believing that the other wouldn’t betray you, but that what was important to one partner was also important to the other, adding:
“You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”
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Another piece of advice Donahue provided for establishing a long-lasting marriage was to want it. When Thomas reflected on her life, she admitted that she would have married no one other than the television star.
The actress stated that her spouse helped her “in whatever way he could.” The couple’s marriage was still going strong in 2022, and because they had discovered the secrets of long-lasting partnerships, it appeared like their union would survive forever.